Yesterday was my enrollment day for my last year of highschool... I'm already a senior when june arrives, therefore i'm going to be buried in a whole lot of assignments and crap and all that. I found out my elective class was Creative Writing...not that i didn't like it, but my first reaction when i saw that i wasn't in Visual Arts...i almost cried. I really wanted to be in that class, because i loved to draw and loved to do art stuff. I like writing too, but i really thought that i was going to go to the Visual Arts class. Well, I've accepted that fact now -- no use in crying over spilled milk, right? So, yeah...the IV6 troop over at the Creative Writing class is a very good one -- so i don't have any qualms about it.. :D
I started reading the Inferno by Dante Alighieri just a few hours earlier -- i only got around to Canto III..I'll probably continue reading it tomorrow. I got a crapload of books yesterday for the new schoolyear -- hopefully, it won't be that hard. Also, the incoming batch of juniors were reshuffled (hahahahahaha!!!).
What else...? Hmm...I can't wait for Hana-Kimi 6! I realized that i sort of have a penchant for girls who have to dress up as boys but are not gay...like Hana-Kimi, and Ouran Koukou. I still don't know who picked Ouran up, but i hope they release the volume soon -- I miss Haruhi and the others...Hana-Kimi 6 has Umeda-sensei as its cover, and he's blonde!!! :D I always thought he was a brunette, but since he looks so good, it doesn't matter what his hair color is...:D
We went to Greenhills yesterday, and of course, i played Dance Maniax -- but there was this damn horrible kid na lagi na lang akong sinusumbatan! ********* batang yan! wla man lang respeto sa mga nakakatanda sa kanya! Dapat sinipa ko yan habang naglalaro kme! Sumbat ng sumbat eh xa nga nagmi-mild na mabilis lng! eh kme, ha?! Kami WILD! WILD WILD WILD WILD! kaya ******* bata ka, ha, tumahimik ka na, bago ko sabihin kung gano ka gago kang bata ka! wla akong pakelam kung magsusumbong ka, kasi wla kang respeto sa mga nakakatanda!!! gagong bata!
Erg, parang bumabagal akong mag-type..
I got depressed yesterday when i realized how God was showing me the signs -- it's like he's telling me that i shouldn't draw anymore.... For the past few days I've been having trouble drawing a decent picture -- I really can't. A few days ago my right hand hurt like hell -- reducing my capability of drawing. And now I'm typing real bad -- i get the keys messed up and my accuracy's low. And the Visual Arts thing was the last blow -- it's like god doesn't want me to draw anymore. Why!? I like drawing -- even though I'm having the hardest time trying to draw, and my hands being messed up as they are...i don't want to give it up. And with the realization that everyone's been taking art workshops, and i haven't, and they're all so better than me, like i couldn't catch up to them anymore...it really got me...it's like i don't have anything that i can be good at anymore. My typing skills are beginning to crumble, and so is my drawing...i really don't want this to happen to me. I really don't. I've been trying really hard, but it seems that they just don't want me. i've considered quitting art because of everything. I tried to convince myself that maybe it's just an off-season for me -- like i used up all i can use of my talent, and i just have to rest for a moment to get it running again.
But now i think it's not that anymore. If i wasn't supposed to draw at all, why did God let me waste so much time on it?
Argh, i hate this.
Current Music: Vanilla (unplugged) -- Gackt
posted by aya-chan @ 17.5.05
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